seasons

I

joy spat from his mouth
or so he thought
his eyes watered from clever jokes
or so he thought
his chuckles reverberated many times and stayed in his heart
or so he thought
but he has never laughed

tears swelled from his clenched eyes
or so he thought
pain frenzied in his body
or so he thought
his soul dripped from his out into city gutters
or so he thought
but he has never cried

his lips swelled with biting pressure
or so he thought
his head grew red and sweaty
or so he thought
his fists he had to tame
or so he thought
but he has never hated

and he has never loved
no, he has never loved

II

souls lie hidden from us
they answer no question, they garnish no truth
we are left to guess
they offer us things, things we may need, other we may not
they offer securities and measures which we take for granted
which we take and take and never think
what are we taking?
what is it, souls, that we are taking?
what do you offer at our tender ages?
do we have those securities, those measures, those capabilities
are we as we will be?
are we as we were?
are you?
i know not whether my hands know what they’re doing
i know not what to do with them
i know not what lies within my head
(WHAT ARE YOU FEEDING MY HEAD?)
i know not whether to call them impulses, feelings, dreams
tell us souls
what are we doing?

III

winter
snow erupts from the pores of sadness
summer
heat bursts; lughter swells
spring
love is not a facade, not now
fall
or was it?

IV

the souls do not answer
the souls do not care
compassion-passion
the souls do not harbor these things
the souls do not regard their masters
(who is the master, i or they?)
i cry into the sky with a yearning
what are these things my hands are doing?
what are these things in my head?
what does my heart hurt?
please
(SILENCE)

V

faith fleets like rabbits from a chill
burrow, rabbit, burrow and do not show your face for some time
the chill will come
it may kill the flowers
the birds
your friends
but you may not show your face, rabbit
not for some time

VI

an answer returns
i listen hard, i want to learn every syllable, every inflection
this is the only wisdom i will have
(YOUTH)
confusion
(YOUTH)
silence
(YOUTH)
knowledge

VII

the rabbit arises form his burrow
(but the chill, rabbit, but the chill!)
the rabbit brings forth children
learn, the rabbit says, learn the chill now
i hear laughter
i know the laughter’s inflections, the laughter’s syllables
i see the children twitch
they don’t know the chill
i hear their souls as well
their souls twitch, shudder
the souls do not know the chill
the souls do not know
they have never known

VIII

youth, i mumble
youth, i laugh
(but you have never laughed)
the souls i hate
(but you have never hated)
the souls i need
(TIME)
(TIME)
yes, souls, time
i have never laughed
i have never hated
neither have the souls
i have never loved, but i will
but they will
in time

IX

winter
snow erupts from the pores of sadness
summer
heat bursts; laughter swells
fall
love may have been a facade
spring
it will not be